I'm not a saint but I am a Carer

Picture this. It is a star lit  night and a fragile man lies in his bed breathing very shallowly. Beside him is a nun who gently wipes his dry lips and changes his damp pillowcase. All is calm and peaceful. After many hours, the man slips away peacefully.

Death. As the famous saying goes there are only two certainties in life, death, and taxes. En route to death though could be a very very long road for the person affected and their carer

To be a good carer, and give great care to your loved one, do you have to give up all sense of self and become nun-like, forgoing all your own needs


There is help and support in Tendring to walk beside you as a carer and give you help and support. This help can range from the financial to the emotional. All of the organizations involved have the same goal – to protect the personhood of the carer.

I am a nurse and though I did not specialize in it, I always found end of life care rewarding. That is my professional side. Now I have 4 close and very dear relatives in their early eighties. How would/will I cope if and when they need care? I will admit it frightens me as I have hopes and dreams of a fun retirement. I have great patience and stamina as a professional, as a private person, I know I could not be a full-time carer. I wish I were different but I accept who I am. I want to do right by my loved ones but also do right by me.

Here are some resources if you are a carer and you want to get help and support


Essex Carers Support

01255 474 410

Support for Carers


Crossroads Care

01255 860 960

Support for Carers


Essex County Council

01206 266 148

Carers Assessment


Department Work & Pensions


Carers Benefits


Carers Emergency Planning Service

01206 206 148

Emergency care if carer ill


Single Point

01206 890 360

Coordinates all end of life care


Macmillan Care Support Worker

0300 770 8090

One to one counseling & support to carers of people end of life


Notes on Resources

Both Essex Carers Support and Crossroads Care can offer advice and  support to carers. They both run face to face groups which are a great help and  they both can assist to complete the complex forms one is faced with when applying for any  financial support

Essex County Council

The  council have a Carers Assessment and Support Team who can do telephone assessments or home visits to assess the carers situation, advise what benefits they may be entitled to and also advise re support organizations.

Department Work and Pensions

This is the organization  that will assess a carer and organize payment of carers allowance or carers credit if you qualify. They will talk on the phone to you  to explain the criteria to see if you qualify. One of them is you need to be providing a minimum of 35 hours of care a week. The next step is to complete a claim form which can be sent by mail or done online. NEVER TRY TO COMPLETE THESE FORMS ON YOUR OWN – GET ADVICE FROM Essex Carers Support or Crossroads. Carers are well known for underestimating how much they do

Carers Emergency Planning Service

Most carer’s nightmare is of being injured and their loved one being at home without any help. The Carers Emergency Planning Service ends this nightmare. A carer signs up to this free service and carries a card. Should they be taken ill and unable to get home, the Planning Service kicks in.        

Single Point

SinglePoint is a service for those who have a condition making it likely they are in the last year of  life. They coordinate all the end of life services in Tendring. This number is a 24hr helpline for the person affected or their carer for help and support to coordinate services

Macmillan Care Support Worker

This is counseling and support service  for carers of someone with a life-limiting condition. The worker for Tendring is Ines Davies who will give one to one support

If you would like to discuss anything in this article please contact Jean Allen at Home Instead on 01255 672 269. We are always happy to share our excellent resource library with you.