Caught Between Two Worlds: The Reality of the “Sandwich Generation”

What Is the Sandwich Generation?

You’re not alone if you’ve ever felt pulled in a thousand directions, rushing from grandparent care appointments to school runs, while juggling work emails in the back of your mind. In the UK, this isn’t just you, it’s part of a growing societal shift. You’re one of the millions in the Sandwich Generation.

Originally coined in the 1980s, the term describes people, often in their 40s to 60s, caring for both dependent children and elderly parents.

In the UK:

• Around 1.3 million people are officially classified as “sandwich carers” (caring both for children and older relatives)

• A staggering 6 million UK workers identify as part of the Sandwich Generation

• 68% are female, and most are aged 35–54, particularly women bearing the brunt

Metaphorically, often we feel like a sandwich, essentially “sandwiched” between the needs of two generations, facing the demands of supporting both, flattened and pressed from both sides, trying to keep it all together. 

The Emotional and Physical Toll

The pressure isn’t just real, it’s documented:

• Nearly one in four ‘Sandwich’ family caregivers report symptoms of mental ill-health, compared to fewer in the general population.

• The longer the care (especially over 10–20 hours/week), the worse the wellbeing, anxiety, depression, exhaustion.

• 42% suffer mental health issues, 31% report impacts on finances, and 27% on physical health and happiness.

• Half have fewer than 35 minutes a day to themselves, basically losing “me-time” entirely.

Stress, burnout, feeling isolated. These are not weaknesses, they’re warnings that life has become too heavy.

Why This Pressure Is Getting Worse

Several big societal shifts have fuelled the squeeze:

People are becoming parents later.
With more first-time parents in their 30s or 40s, children and elderly parents increasingly overlap in care years.

Lives are longer, but healthier years may not be.
More people are needing care due to chronic conditions or dementia.

Work expectations haven’t shifted.
Only 21% of employers offer adequate support to ‘sandwich’ family carers, with flexible hours, paid leave, or help at home.

Women bear the majority of this weight.
Women are four times more likely to quit work for care, exacerbating the gender pension gap.

The Sandwich Lifestyle: What It Looks Like Day to Day

From the moment you wake up to the second your head hits the pillow, completely exhausted – you’re juggling it all.

You’re folding laundry while keeping one eye on the kids having their breakfast, calling mum to remind her to take her morning medication, grabbing your bag, the kids, their lunchboxes and rushing out the door. Your day is a blur of work meetings, taking calls from your mum feeling lonely and forgetful, picking the kids up from school, grabbing some essentials from the shop then heading straight to mum’s house. There, you’re preparing her dinner and her next day’s lunch ready, managing her medication and cleaning her kitchen, the kids are hungry, get them home, cook dinner for them, homework, bath them and bedtime routine, you have a few emails to reply for work the next day, mum’s calling again for help, you need to have a shower before bed, then finally you’re trying to unwind with some TV but have a million and ne things rushing through your mind.

You’re doing the work of ten people, and somehow, still blaming yourself for not doing enough.

Real Stories:

“I hadn’t been able to be myself, or do what I want for years. My mum needed daily support before school pick-up, throughout the day and for bedtime. I love her dearly, but I also resented losing myself in the process. Caring for everybody, every minute of the day, felt impossible. I was truly exhausted but couldn’t stop because they all relied on me. I reached out to a few care providers, but it was Home Instead that changed things for me, Mum’s life has structure, routine and a small team of carers that she has gotten to know and like, whilst I can commit to my work, be present for my children and be mum’s daughter again — it’s truly helped our family, and my wellbeing” – Emma, Newport

“The guilt! Oh! The guilt I was feeling was overwhelming. On one hand I had my children going through GCSEs and A levels, then on the other hand, my Dad, 83 years old and stubborn, felt very lonely, had mobility issues and was diagnosed with dementia. Both needed me and I couldn’t be at two places at once. I take great pride in being a good daughter and mother, being there for everyone, doing my best, but I still felt it was never enough – not because they made me feel that way, it was me, moments where I felt stuck, wondering if I could find more of myself and my time to give to them. I was worrying so much, making sure I was giving each of them my devoted attention. I was contemplating leaving my job I worked so hard for, but financially I couldn’t afford doing that. It was recommended to me to speak to Home Instead by a close friend. I wish I had known about them sooner! We decided as a family that live-in care was needed for dad, which meant he has round-the-clock professional support, so now I can visit often – not as his carer, but as his daughter again. Dad is getting on really well, the kids have passed their exams and are thriving, and for me – I’m now able to sit and actually enjoy the peace of a cup of coffee and a good book!” –  Annette, Cwmbran

Financial and Career Impact: The Hidden Costs

It’s not just about exhaustion:

• 1 in 6 find caring financially difficult, rising to 1 in 4 when care demands exceed 20 hours/week.

• 53% are unable to work as much as they’d need too, worsens to 74% when they give 20+ hours/week to caring.

• 33% rely on Carer’s Allowance (~£69/week), far below real living costs.

• Most family caregivers retire with just £6,750 average private pension, nearly half of non-carers.

In other words, caring now could mean less retirement later, on top of today’s stress.

If funding is a concern for you and your family, check out our blog article ‘Social Care Services: Your Care Options’ for funding options.

But There Is Another Way

You’re not alone, and there are solutions. At Home Instead Newport, Cwmbran & Chepstow, we can help you break this cycle.

We provide high-quality Home Care and Live-in Care for your parents.

This means trained, compassionate care in their home, helping with bathing, meals, meds, companionship, dementia support, while you remain present for your kids, for them and yourself!.

We give you space, literally and emotionally.

Giving you time to breathe will feel powerful, and it’ll be these moments where you can relax knowing your family is safe and provided for. You’ll feel a weight lifted. 

Care is tailored to your reality.

Hourly or live-in, morning or night, their routines and needs shapes our schedule. We slot into your family, providing care to your parents, and relieving you everyday. 

We support your lifestyle AND freedom.

Whether you’re back to work, running a household, studying, or decompressing, we fill the gaps you can’t. 

You get peace of mind, and they get friendly care.

Someone is there who knows them, their routines, hobbies, quirks. It’s not institutional, it’s personal.

Why This Matters

This is about more than convenience. It’s about:

• Mental stability – less guilt, burnout, anxiety

• Stronger family bonds – you’re present, not absent

• Better finances – we’re often cheaper than you imagine

• Healthier kids and happier parents

You deserve to breathe. Your children deserve your love. Your parents deserve kindness.

If your life looks like this, overloaded, worried, stretched, know this: You’re carrying too much. And you don’t have to keep carrying it.

Home Instead is here to help.

We offer:

• Flexible, quality home & live-in care for parents

• Compassionate Carers, handpicked for your family

• Relief for you, guilt-free care for you and loved ones

• Affordable solutions backed by UK care standards

📞 Call us for an informal, non-judgmental chat.
💬 We’ll listen to your story, no pressure, just practical options.
🙏 Find time to be the daughter, son, partner, parent, friend you want to be.

You’ve given enough. Now let us support you.

Because you are more than a sandwich — and you deserve care, too.