Fun questions to ask dementia patients

Asking questions to someone with dementia that keep them engaged

Having meaningful conversations with people with dementia can be challenging, but as long as the person can still communicate verbally, there are often engaging, fun questions you can ask to get them talking and create enjoyment for them. Here, we are taking a look at why this matters for people with dementia, tips to have meaningful conversations with them, some fun question ideas to try with your loved one, how to adapt questions to fit the various stages of dementia, and other ways to engage with them. 

At Home Instead, our aim is to help people age positively and in place by bringing expert care to their home. For nearly 20 years, we have been providing the highest standard of care, and creating industry-leading training programmes for our Care Professionals that are accredited by nursing and medical professionals. Today, we are the world’s largest global domiciliary care network, supporting over 100,000 older adults with personalised, tailored care at home. So whatever questions you have about a loved one’s dementia, we can help.

How can caregivers have meaningful conversations with people with dementia? 

Depending on the stage of dementia, having a distraction-free, focused and meaningful conversation with a person living with dementia can feel challenging, but rewarding. The Alzheimer’s Society of Canada recommends using questions that bring up memories from their life, avoiding any questions that could provoke negative feelings, and letting them repeat the same stories over again if it brings them comfort to do so. 

It will likely be necessary to adapt communication styles to make questions more relevant to the stage they are in, but generally, caregivers may find it helpful to: 

• Focus more on creating enjoyable connections for them, instead of correcting their use of language or any other errors they make 
• Use simple, straightforward and open-ended questions to make it easier for them to understand and participate – some good examples are questions about their feelings or about memories of a person or place
• Speak calmly, slowly, and without frustration to allow the person to process what you are saying and respond appropriately
• Focus on maintaining patience as much as possible to reduce feelings of frustration for you both
• Make them feel heard and understood with active listening, by using body language such as nodding, eye contact, and acknowledging their words through repetition
• Follow the lead of the person with dementia rather than trying to force particular conversations – if they like talking about a specific memory constantly, allow them to discuss this without push-back
• Choose questions that fit the abilities and mindset of the person, keeping in mind that their mood may shift and you might need to adjust your questions accordingly 
• Avoid any emotionally challenging or stressful talking points as these could lead to confusion or upset
• Use visual aids if possible, such as photographs or familiar music
• Create a safe and friendly environment where they feel more able to open up about their feelings – you can do this by turning off phones while they speak or making sure there are no strangers around 

You can learn more about creating happiness for a person with dementia in our article: Living With Dementia: Health & Happiness

Reminiscence-Based Questions

Asking questions that get them thinking back to happy and interesting moments of their life is a great way to get them talking about positive things. These could be tangled up with unpleasant memories, too, so do what you can to steer the conversation towards a positive outcome if they begin to talk about difficult topics or sensitive subjects. Some examples might include: 

• What are some of your favourite memories from your childhood? 
• What was the first job you worked at? Did you enjoy it? 
• What is the best holiday you have ever been on? Why did you love it there so much?

Music and Entertainment Questions

Many people enjoy talking about their favourite music, TV, movies and hobbies they have, so bringing this up as a topic of conversation allows them to discuss these without restrictions. This is a good subject as it can allow them to discuss classic pieces of entertainment from years ago that others will have forgotten. For example, you could ask:

• What song always makes you feel happy or brings back positive memories?
• When you were younger, was there a TV show you never missed each week?
• What is your favourite book/movie ever? Why did you like it so much? 

Food and Drink Questions

Questions about food and drinks are usually safe, meaning they are unlikely to bring up unpleasant emotions like other categories might. They are also easy to prompt, as you can ask them about the last meal they had before you visited, and could be a good way to find out what they might like to eat. You could choose to ask them:

• What was your favourite food or meal growing up?
• If you could only choose one food to eat forever more, which one would you choose? 
• Are there any special recipes you make? Or ones that your family passed down to you?

Travel and Experience Questions

Asking a person with dementia about travel experiences they have had can help to prompt pleasant, vivid memories; typically travel memories are some of the clearest in our minds since they break the monotony of routine. Travelling to new places leads to encountering new languages, cultural expectations, and unusual situations, and this routine shift causes us to be more engaged with the memories we are making. Try asking things like:

• Where have you visited that you still think about today? 
• What is the funniest thing that happened to you while travelling? 
• Which would you choose for a holiday: a beach resort, a city break, or a remote countryside retreat?

Personal Preference Questions

Some preference questions may overlap with other categories, but these are an easy and fun way to get them talking about their likes and dislikes. Not only will this be an engaging conversation in the moment, but it could help you get to know your loved one better if they provide unexpected answers. These could be questions like: 

• What is your favourite season of the year? 
• What was your favourite subject at school? 
• Would you rather have tea or coffee? A dog or cat? Etc. (You can design your own “Would you rather…?” questions here) 

How can caregivers adapt questions to fit the different stages of dementia? 

As dementia progresses to the middle and advanced stages, some questions may need to be adapted to make them easier to understand and answer with the communication restrictions they have. Some ways caregivers can approach this include:

• Simplifying language so questions are succinct, straightforward and lead them straight to the right subject instead of overwhelming them with too many possibilities. For example, instead of asking “What is the best holiday you have ever been on? Why did you love it there so much?” you might bring up a holiday you already know they enjoyed, and let them talk about their memories of it without restrictions. 
• Expressing just one idea at a time, so as not to overload them with thoughts and ideas, as this could interrupt their processing of the main subject.
• Using visual cues or prompts to help them process information and understand what you are asking them, such as showing them a photograph from the holiday you want to talk about, or playing music they might recognise. 
• Focusing on emotions and experiences rather than facts. You can ignore any mistaken dates, names, or other inconsistencies, and instead focus on the positives about the memories they are discussing. 
• Adjusting expectations by letting them talk for as long as they want about a topic – even if they haven’t answered your original question, as long as they remain happy and engaged, you can allow them to talk about anything they like. 
• Adapting the conversation to fit if it is taking place over a phone call, such as giving more clarifying information about who you are, and asking questions that do not require physical actions or visual prompts. 

In the early stages of dementia, open-ended questions can still be effective at prompting conversations, but in the later stages, simpler language with shorter sentences may be more appropriate and easier for them to understand. When it comes to advanced dementia, caregivers may need to adjust to simple yes or no questions which avoid confusion or frustration. The focus should always be on creating the most comfortable and enjoyable experience for the person, so as long as you are engaging with them in some capacity, this can provide wellbeing benefits for them. 

How else can caregivers create positive interactions? 

Research finds that dementia-related communication changes can greatly impact quality of life in those with the condition, but even when verbal communication is more difficult or impossible, there are often ways to create positive interactions. 

For example, caregivers could create a highly engaging home environment that encourages connection and memories as much as possible. Place memory boxes and photo albums around the home, help them to create a scrapbook filled with familiar things and collectables they may recognise, or play music or videos in the home that are likely to evoke positive emotions, creating excellent opportunities for meaningful conversations to occur. Any of these could help to spark an interesting story or memory from years prior.  

Also, caregivers could facilitate their participation in group activities with family or friends that focus on reminiscence alongside social interaction. This shared storytelling can create a strong sense of community for them, which could help to reduce loneliness. 

Thinking about their most precious memories from throughout their life will give caregivers a better idea of how to initiate certain conversations, such as looking through family photos together, watching clips from familiar movies they loved, or taking them to points of interests in their home or beyond that can stir up positive emotions. 

What resources are available for caregivers and people with dementia?

Family caregivers do not need to handle dementia care alone, and should be aware of the resources and support available to them in the UK. Some key organisations and charities to be aware of include:

• The NHS has information on communicating with someone with dementia
• Age UK has information on dementia support in your local area
• Dementia UK has helpful information on the different stages of dementia and what to expect at each, as well as how to communicate with someone with dementia
• The Alzheimer’s Society has guides on communicating with people with dementia 
• Your local council can offer a Care Needs Assessment to identify the person’s specific communication needs, and connect them with an adult social care worker who has experience interacting with people at all stages of dementia 
• Professional home care services can step in to help with dementia care and improve communication within the home 

How can home care help to create a fun environment for people with dementia? 

Care Professionals working within a person’s home can help to create a fun and engaging environment for families managing a loved one’s dementia. With either visiting care or live-in care, professional caregivers can do this in a number of ways: 

• While managing daily care routines, they can prompt conversations with interesting questions
• Facilitate meaningful discussions with family members by helping them overcome any communication issues using techniques tailored to their loved one’s abilities 
• Engage people with dementia by setting up cognitively stimulating and fun activities that are appropriate for the stage of dementia
• Observing their responses and adjusting the approach to suit the needs of the individual with dementia 
• Helping to manage the physical side of care alongside the emotional side, such as health monitoring, assisting with medication management, supporting mobility when needed, and more
• Providing companionship so people with dementia always have someone safe and knowledgeable to talk to when they feel like it  
• Offering mental health support that can be helpful if a person with dementia tends to default to negative memories and emotions 
• Being available to families through specialist dementia care that can include personalised, engaging conversations to support their wellbeing and avoid loneliness

At Home Instead, our Care Professionals can provide person-centred dementia care using a programme that is City & Guilds Assured, and are trained to create a care routine that focuses on their physical needs while also managing their emotional needs, such as creating meaningful conversations. We take the time to match clients with a caregiver who can complement their personality and interests, and who has experience with all stages of dementia, so they can tailor questions and discussions to suit their abilities and preferences.  

We’re an award-winning home care provider and part of a worldwide organisation devoted to providing the highest-quality relationship-led care for older people in their own homes. Arranging care for yourself or your loved one shouldn’t be stressful, so whatever questions you would like answered, feel free to reach out to the Home Instead team to discuss your needs.