10 signs your elderly parent needs help at home

Signs that care may be needed

Everyone starts to need more help as they age, from light-touch support with housekeeping and errands, to live-in care for more severe care needs or safety concerns. Here, we are sharing the signs to watch out for that indicate your older parent may need help at home, including why early recognition matters, physical health signs, cognitive and emotional signs, changes in their daily routines, social and lifestyle red flags, and safety concerns. We will also discuss when to consider bringing in professional home care, how to support an older parent’s independence, and the financial and legal considerations to know about. 

At Home Instead, our aim is to help people age positively and in place by bringing expert care to their home. For nearly 20 years, we have been providing the highest standard of care, and creating industry-leading training programmes for our Care Professionals that are accredited by nursing and medical professionals. Today, we are the world’s largest global domiciliary care network, supporting over 100,000 older adults with personalised, tailored care at home. So whatever questions you have about an older parent’s needs, we can help.

Physical health indicators 

1. Personal hygiene or unexplained weight loss

Sometimes, a lack of personal hygiene can indicate a mobility issue that prevents them from reaching, bending or stretching to clean themselves, get dressed, or get to the bathroom independently. A 2024 Age UK report found that 10% of older people have difficulty dressing, and 6% have difficulty bathing. This can affect their general hygiene, and if left for a long time, could cause infections, skin issues, and low self-esteem. Personal hygiene may be impacted when an older person cannot clean themselves due to pain, discomfort, fatigue, or a fear of falling, but a lack of personal hygiene could also be a sign of a mental health issue or cognitive decline. For example, they may forget to carry out their usual routines, or lose awareness of their need for self-care. You may find our guide on the importance of personal hygiene care for older adults helpful.

When discussing personal hygienewith a loved one, try to use empathy to maintain their dignity and avoid embarrassment, offer to help them if they are open to this, or bring in professional care to help instead. You may also need to consider home adaptations to make movement easier for them, and easier clothing options so they can dress themselves.

Another sign that an older loved one is unable to take care of themselves is unexplained weight loss, which could be the result of difficulty preparing meals, or difficulty eating (due to things like lack of appetite, trouble swallowing, or dental issues). They may also struggle to shop for their food independently, or cook by themselves.

2. Fatigue, or frequent falls 

Frequent falls could be the result of fatigue or another reason, but regardless of the underlying cause, this is an important warning sign that an older parent needs support at home. Frequent falls can be a sign of muscle weakness, balance issues, or an unsafe home environment with trip hazards.

Older adults over the age of 65 have the highest risk of falling, with around one third falling at least once a year. Falls can result in further health decline and loss of independence, with 36% of older people saying their number one worry is falling. It is vital to recognise any fall risk and take steps to address this as early as possible. They may require simple support around the house to avoid falling, such as help with tending their garden or cleaning their home. Mobility aids can also maintain their independence at home, or professional home care could take on the tasks that pose more of a risk to them. Taking a proactive approach to falls can avoid much worse health issues in future and preserve their quality of life.

You may find our guide on what to do if an elderly person falls a helpful reference.

Cognitive and emotional signs 

1. Confusion and memory loss

Confusion, memory loss, or difficulty following routines can be signs that an older adult is experiencing cognitive decline, and may need more help to manage at home on their own. They might have trouble managing their daily tasks, turning off appliances, taking medication on time, and more. Whether mild, moderate or severe cognitive decline, this can cause safety issues for some older people. 

In addition, forgetting their routines could lead to skipped meals, lack of personal hygiene, or even an increased risk of accidents if they become confused while doing activities like driving or navigating public transport. 

Confusion and memory loss can also cause anxiety, frustration, or withdrawal from social activities which can lead to loneliness. If you recognise signs that your older loved one is experiencing mild cognitive decline, it may be time to offer additional support or enlist the help of professional care to ensure they remain safe and well at home. 

2. Signs of depression, anxiety, or behavioural changes 

Around 14% of older people aged 60 and over live with a mental health disorder, and more specifically, an estimated 22% of men and 28% of women aged 65 and over are affected by depression. Signs of depression or anxiety in an older person might include things like losing interest in hobbies or activities they once enjoyed, or isolating themselves from friends and family, which can lead to loneliness. 

Behavioural changes may also indicate an older person needs more help at home, such as irritability or mood swings. These may indicate they are finding it harder to cope with their everyday routines and activities, which could go on to impact their sleep, appetite, energy levels, and overall quality of life. When these issues go unaddressed, this can lead to further health and mental health decline, so it is important for families and caregivers to recognise these emotional and behavioural changes as early as possible, and open up a pathway that makes it easier for older adults to talk about how they feel. With more support and companionship at home, as well as more structured mental health care, they can start to feel like themselves again. 

Remember to ask how they are feeling, help them reach out to their GP for more advice if needed, speak to them about seeing a therapist, participate in calm activities with them (such as crafting or listening to music), and make sure they know they can open up about what’s on their mind. You can learn more in our guide to handling stress and anxiety in the elderly.

Changes in daily living patterns

1. Neglecting household chores

One obvious sign that an older adult is struggling to manage on their own is when their home begins to show signs of neglect. This could be things like: 

• Bins not going out on time
• Dirty dishes in the sink 
• Laundry piling up 
• Leaving home maintenance and minor repair tasks too long 
• Unclean bathrooms
• Old food in the fridge

As well as potential mobility issues making this harder for them, cognitive changes could also be the cause, leading them to forget certain chores, or lose motivation part way through. A neglected home environment can quickly become unsafe and unhygienic, so it is vital to address this as soon as possible. If this is the case for your older loved one, helping them with basic household chores could keep on top of the issues, or you may want to bring in professional home care for housekeeping. 

2. Difficulty managing finances and appointments

An older loved one who is becoming forgetful, or who is dealing with many other issues that take up their attention, might struggle with regular life administration that can become a much bigger burden if allowed to collect over time. For example, not paying bills on time, forgetting to track spending, or not writing down medication schedules after a doctor’s appointment. They may also struggle to keep up with medical appointments, social appointments, or home maintenance appointments, so more help may be needed to ensure they are tackling all issues instead of procrastinating until it becomes a larger problem. 

These challenges might come from issues like cognitive decline, or executive functioning difficulties, and as they continue to build up, this could cause additional stress and anxiety that compounds. Recognising these signs early allows families to step in and provide support, such as regular reminders, financial assistance, or arranging professional care.

3. Missing medications or medical treatments 

Researchsuggests older adults are often more affected by chronic conditions than younger age groups, such as diabetes and arthritis. Around 93% of older adults live with at least one chronic health condition, and almost 80% of them have two or more conditions. These conditions can limit their ability to continue with their daily activities, and can lead to loss of independence, so the sooner they are addressed, the better. A 2019 study found that older people with chronic conditions often have unmet care needs, whether physical, psychological, social or environmental. 

Many older adults take medications or engage in certain treatments to manage these conditions, so if they are missing appointments or failing to keep up with medication schedules, this could indicate that they need more help. This could be the result of memory issues, confusion, mobility or dexterity challenges, or mental health issues. 

Remember, many older adults are highly dependent on their medications, so missing doses can have negative impacts, or could even be life-threatening. If you notice this happening to a loved one, it is best to step in and create the systems they need to, such as medication management from a home care professional. 

Safety concerns at home 

1. Unsafe home environment

When an older person neglects their home tidiness, this can result in an unsafe living environment such as clutter in pathways and poor lighting, which can cause trip hazards and increase the likelihood of falls and serious injuries. As previously mentioned, falls can lead to serious health and mental health issues, so it is crucial to address this if clutter is building up in their home. 

“Falls are a serious threat to older people’s health, wellbeing and independence, causing pain, distress and loss of confidence. However, despite having serious consequences, falls in later life are often dismissed as an inevitable part of growing older, when the reality is many of them are preventable.”

— Charity Director at Age UK, Caroline Abrahams

2. Inability to use emergency contacts

In the case of an emergency, it is important that an older adult can respond appropriately and call the necessary people to help, such as their family or emergency services, or use their personal alarm to call the responders. When an older person is unable to manage this, they may no longer be able to safely live alone without someone checking on them. 

Data from Age UK indicates the likelihood of attending an A&E department rises significantly with age, and there are around 49,917 attendances for every 100,000 people aged 75-79. For those over the age of 90, there are around 93,931 attendances per 100,000 people. For this reason, knowing how to call for help in an emergency could be life saving for your older loved one. Someone may lose this ability if they are experiencing issues like cognitive decline, memory loss, or physical limitations that prevent them from taking swift action in an emergency, such as a fall, a fire, or a sudden illness. By recognizing these signs early, you can implement helpful safety measures for your older loved one, such as a medical alert system, more check-ins from family, or professional home care.

Social and lifestyle red flags 

1. Reduced Social Interactions

Reduced social interactions with family and friends can lead to loneliness in older adults, and could indicate that they are struggling with something and need more help at home. This might happen as the result of mobility challenges that make it difficult to physically get to social events, fatigue that makes it exhausting to leave home, or emotional struggles like depression and anxiety that impact an older person’s desire to socialise in the first place.

Isolation for older adults poses a greater risk of declining health, reduced cognitive function, and emotional distress, so addressing this promptly can greatly improve their quality of life. Families or professional caregivers could provide more companionship, assistance with transportation to social events, or home-based social activities like getting the whole family together to help your older loved one feel more connected and engaged, even if they can’t leave home.

How can I support an older parent’s independence at home?

In some cases, it may be possible to provide more support for your parent at home without engaging the services of professional caregivers. While they are still capable of living independently, this may involve striking a balance between providing assistance while respecting their autonomy to make decisions about their own routines, and protecting their dignity. It may help to encourage them to create safer routines, such as consistent meal times, regular gentle exercise, and new methods of organising their medications so they don’t forget to take them. Adaptive tools could also help to make things safer at home, such as installing grab rails, purchasing walking aids, or sourcing easy-to-use kitchen equipment to make everyday routines safer and more manageable. 

You may find our guide to helping older adults with housekeeping helpful.

Try to offer support when needed, but allow your parent to make choices themselves and perform any tasks they are still capable of to promote their self-esteem, confidence, and maintain a sense of control over their life.

By helping them create a structured schedule for their days, this can help to reduce confusion and anxiety through predictability, and ensure there is enough time for things like their hobbies, social interactions, and rest to support their wellbeing. 

What are the financial and legal considerations of arranging home care for an older parent? 

Often, it’s not just the practical side of arranging care you need to consider. The financial and legal elements of arranging home care for an older parent can also feel overwhelming, but by planning in advance and speaking to the right advisors, you can demystify this process and make sure you are accessing everything you and your loved one is entitled to. 

In the UK, there may be funding options available for older adults who require care, so it’s a good idea to look into this before implementing any professional care. The NHS or local council will assess your older parent and determine if they can provide financial assistance, depending on their needs and level of income. You can learn more about this in our guide to paying for care.

There are also certain benefits to know about that could help to top up your income and help to cover costs, such as Attendance Allowance or Carer’s Allowance. Eligibility requirements exist for these, so you may need to research which apply to your situation. You can learn more in our guide to financial benefits for pensioners.

Don’t forget to consider legal planning as your parent ages. For example, setting up a lasting Power of Attorney to ensure the appropriate person can become involved in your parent’s finances, health, and care if they become unable to make decisions themselves at a later date. This might involve care planning discussions, documenting their wishes, creating guides for carers and other family members, and more. Stay informed about the financial and legal aspects to ensure the care your parent is receiving complies with their preferences and wishes. 

You can learn more in these guides:

• Making An Advance Statement For Care
• Making An Advance Decision to Refuse Treatment: A Living Will
• Health and Welfare Lasting Power of Attorney

What resources are available for older adults struggling at home?

It can feel isolating and overwhelming to plan ahead for your older parent’s care, so it is important to speak to others and utilise the many resources available in the UK. For example: 

• The NHS has a lot of guidance on home care, mobility support, and how to manage long-term conditions
• There are likely many local social services in your area that can help with Care Needs Assessments and further support 
• Charities such as Age UK, Carers UK, and The Silver Line can help by offering advice, information, emotional support, legal support, and even helplines for both older adults and their caregivers
• Local community services could provide additional support, such as adult day care centres, befriending or sitting services, meal delivery services, transport assistance, social activities, and more
• Respite care can provide temporary relief for regular caregivers to ensure your older parent receives continuity of care while reducing stress on the caregiver and offering them a break for any reason

How Home Instead can help your older parent 

Your local council can provide caregiver support, but private home care may also be an option for your older parent. With private home care, you benefit from more flexibility to increase or decrease services as needed, and your older parent can enjoy seeing one dedicated caregiver (if applicable to their circumstances) as opposed to multiple caregivers on a rotating basis depending on who is available. 

At Home Instead, our Care Professionals become familiar with your family’s situation and provide the bespoke support your parent needs. We take great care in matching clients with a caregiver who complements their personality, interests and specific care needs, to ensure they have the knowledge, experience and familiarity required to create a strong relationship. 

We can offer a bespoke package of services to fit your needs, such as: 

• Personal care (help with bathing, dressing and more)
• Meal preparation and cooking 
• Companionship to reduce loneliness and manage mental health
• Specialist care for health conditions like diabetes or dementia 
• Medication management and health monitoring
• Transportation to GP appointments and other errands 
• Facilitating social engagement and hobbies to promote wellbeing
• Respite care to provide ad hoc care when regular caregivers are unavailable, burnt out, or encounter an emergency that affects their schedule 

Our friendly, supportive Care Professionals are ready to provide the support your older parent needs — you can reach out to your local Home Instead office to discuss your options.

We’re an award-winning home care provider and part of a worldwide organisation devoted to providing the highest-quality relationship-led care for older people in their own homes. Arranging care for yourself or your loved one shouldn’t be stressful, so whatever questions you would like answered, feel free to reach out to the Home Instead team to discuss your needs.