Supporting someone living with dementia at Christmas

1. Create a calm, familiar festive environment

Sudden changes in the home such as bright lights, lots of decorations, new scents – can feel disorienting.  Introducing Christmas decorations gradually can help.

Try decorating over several days

Rather than transforming the house all at once, add one or two decorations at a time.  This allows your loved one to adjust at at a comfortable pace and reduces the sense of disruption.

Choose familiar, well-loved items

Often, older decorations like a long-owned wreath can bring the most comfort.  even if the person no longer recognises the item consciously, its presense can feel reassuring.

Involve them in small ways

Helping to place a bauble, choosing where to put a card, or arranging the nativity scene gives a sense of participation without pressure.

Keeping the home warm, simple and familiar helps to set the tone for a gentler Christmas.

2. Keep routines and celebrations simple

A busy day full of noise, wrapping paper, unusual foods and lots of people can quickly overwhelm someone with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.

Lean into the ordinary.

Regular meal times, familiar cups and plates. and a predictable structure to the day can prevent confusion and anxiety.  Even small elements of routine will create a sense of security and safety.

Adapt traditions rather than dropping them.

If your loved one is used to going to church but cannot manage a visit, consider watching a televised church service.  If giving gifts feels confusing, keep presents small and simple.  Introduce them gently.

Don’t feel pressure for perfection.

Christmas doesn’t need to be elaborate to be meaningful.  Sometimes, the quietest days turn out to be the best ever!

3. Involve loved ones in meaningful but manageable activities.

Being included – even in small ways – can create moments of joy and dignity.

Choose simple, pressure-free tasks.  Here’s a few ideas:

• Hanging a single decoration or placing a festive ornament
• Listening to familiar Christmas songs or singing a gentle carol
• Helping prepare cards by adding a signature label or sticking on stamps.
• Looking at family photos or a memory box together reminiscing with with gently guided conversation
• Stirring a cake mixture, placing serviettes or giving a choice of film options (It may be best to give just 2 options)

These examples are not about achieving a perfect result – they are about connection, involvement, dignity and purpose.

4. Build in quiet times and quiet spaces

Festive gatherings can be full of chatter, background noise, and competing conversations – all of which can be difficult for someone living with dementia.

Create a designated quiet area.

A calm space – maybe a favourite chair, a softly lit room or a corner with a blanket and headphones – could give your loved one somewhere to retreat to, if everything becomes too loud or too busy.

Stagger the visits.

Instead of hosting everyone at once which can be overwhelming, arrange smaller visits over several days.  This reduces sensory overload and makes each interaction more meaningful.

Allow gentle comings and goings.

Your loved one may dip in and out of activities.  This is normal.  Let them take part at their own pace, without pressure to stay for the whole event.  A peaceful environment often allows the person to enjoy more of Christmas.

5. Be flexible and about what you think of as normal Christmas Dinner.

Traditional Christmas means can be daunting for someone who struggles with appetite, coordination or sensory changes.

Serve small portions of what they fancy

Simple foods like toast, scrambled eggs, finger foods and fruit are perfectly OK.  Eating this way can still be nutritious and everyone will have a more relaxed, enjoyable meal.

Presentation can be important.

For some people with dementia, presentation of food can be important.  Make the plate look appetising, for example including food of different colours.  Some people also like to have a plate of a colour which is a contrast to the food.  Colours such blue or yellow create contrast, helping people to see their food better because vision and perception issues makes pale food food disappear on white plates whereas high contrast makes food stand out, encouraging them to eat more.  Studies show significant intake increases with dementia-friendly crockery.

6. Plan ahead and help your other guests

To give your best laid plans the best chance of success, creating a relaxed Christmas for everyone and avoiding any embarrassment, let other people know your plans and approach.  Using the tips above is a good place to start.  Remind people to introduce themselves.  They may need to do this each time they speak.  Let them know to speak clearly and to avoid sensory overload.  Prepare younger family members too – we have books on this in our Home Instead library.

Lastly, have a plan B.  Even if your loved one seems excited beforehand, they may still find gatherings stressful on the day itself.  Be ready to shorten your plans.  If your loved one does become distressed, it is their dementia, not a reflection on your plans or the people who are present.