Norma and Tony: 53 Years of Marriage
Norma and Tony, 53 Years
They met at an under 18s night in Sheffield, November 1967. Tony was there with a few of his friends from work and enjoying a night out. His friend Trevor suddenly disappeared and returned saying, “I’ve got someone here to show you. This is my friend Norma.”
They began chatting and instantly hit it off. At one point in the evening, several boys crowded round the popular Norma when she got her cigarettes out. Tony took her last one; something she still hasn’t quite forgiven him for all these years later!
The couple were engaged by the following January, married in 1972 and have remained deeply in love ever since.
Can you tell me about your first date?
Tony : We’re both big Sheffield Wednesday fans, and on our first date, they were playing Arsenal away. I asked Norma if she would go with me.
Norma: But my mother didn’t like him at first.
Tony: So, I took her anyway.
Norma: He kidnapped me!
Tony: Her mum was so angry, for a while, she wouldn’t let Norma come out with me again. I used to have to wait around the corner for her. But as time got on, she got used to me.
What are your favourite things about each other?
Norma: Well, he pays the rent. Wait – we don’t pay rent anymore.
Both laugh.
Tony: We’ve just got on so well together. We’re on the same wavelength.
Norma: Yes, I’m afraid so…
Both laugh again.
Tony: Norma is very good at making friends. She can also be a little stubborn. After she first had her stroke in 2011, we needed to go into Meadowhall. She refused to get out the car, so I left her and nipped in. When I came back, the car was empty and she hadn’t taken her walker. I looked everywhere for her. I eventually had to get security involved.
We found her on the cameras, sat chatting to an old lady on a bench halfway across Meadowhall! I have no idea how she got there!
Also, when our grandson was young, we took him to the park and on the swings. Norma went for run about on her scooter – I told to stay in the park. Of course-
Norma laughs
Well, she was off. I tried calling her mobile, but she never looks at it.
Norma: Excuse me. The battery was flat.
Tony: No, it wasn’t! Anyway, I got a call from a lady asking me if I was Tony. She said she had Norma here waiting for me. Somehow she’d driven all the way to some flats quite a way off and introduced herself.
Can you tell me a little about your wedding day?
We were married on the 30th of September 1968, which was the last day before the marriage licence price went up. There were 200 other people getting married that day and when we got out of the registry office, people were out there filming. We never saw it, but our friends told us we’d been on the news.
We’ve got some real stories from our honeymoon; we went on a double honeymoon with our friends who got married the week before us, down to a bungalow in the Norfolk Broads.
We went into a café in Wroxham and were looking at the lunch menu when there was a sudden huge kerfuffle in the kitchen. The waitress came back out and said, “I’m sorry, the cook has just quit, the stubborn old cow. But I can cook you something.”
Later on, Norma’s shoe broke and we had to get it fixed in someone’s back garden workshop. We sat with his wife in the kitchen whilst he mended it, and she kept saying “You poor thing,” to Norma. We had no idea what she was talking about.
It turned out she thought Norma had a clubbed foot because of the thickness of her platform soled shoes…
What’s one thing you’d advise for a long and happy marriage like yours?
Norma: Never go to sleep on an argument. That’s very important.
Tony: You just have to support each other through everything,
Norma: I don’t know how to describe it. We’re tethered.
Anything else you’d like to share?
Tony: Oh. The little black dress story. We were clearing out a bedroom, and our daughter found this little black article of clothing in the wardrobe. I told her it was what Norma had worn on one of our first dates.
“What else did she wear with it?” she asked. “This is a top.”
I said, “No, this is a dress!”
So you kept it all this time?
Norma: It just means so much to me.
Since Home Instead entered their lives, Tony can take time for himself so he can keep being a husband and not just a carer. He told us Norma gets up in a much better mood these days and he’s able to rest. Norma agreed that her Home Instead Care Professionals were all lovely and make her days feel better.
Supporting this beautiful couple to stay together and continue spending quality time together is a huge honour for Home Instead and exactly why we do what we do.