Looking After Yourself as a Family Carer in Monmouthshire

Most family carers never call themselves carers. They’re a wife looking after her husband, a daughter popping in twice a day, a son who does the shopping and the paperwork and the hospital runs. It builds so gradually that there’s never a moment where it starts — and because of that, people rarely stop to ask whether they’re coping.

Around one in ten adults in Monmouthshire are caring for someone. If that’s you, this is written for you rather than for the person you look after.

The warning signs worth taking seriously

Carer burnout isn’t weakness. It is the predictable result of doing too much for too long without a break:

• Tiredness that sleep no longer fixes
• Feeling short-tempered or tearful with the person you love, then guilty about it
• Cancelling your own appointments, hobbies and friendships over and over
• Eating badly, or forgetting to eat at all
• Dreading the phone ringing
• Feeling that nobody understands, and that you can’t say any of this out loud

If several of those sound familiar, it is worth acting now rather than waiting until something gives.

You have a right to a carer’s assessment

This is the single most useful thing many carers don’t know. Under the Social Services and Well-being (Wales) Act 2014, carers have a right to their own assessment from the local council — Monmouthshire County Council or Torfaen County Borough Council, depending on where you live.

It’s free, it’s separate from any assessment of the person you care for, and it doesn’t depend on how many hours you do or on your income. The assessment looks at your needs: your health, your work, your sleep, whether you get a break, and what would make things more manageable. Depending on the outcome, it can lead to practical support, equipment, replacement care so you can have time off, or in some cases a direct payment.

You can ask for one yourself. You don’t need a referral, and you don’t need the person you care for to agree.

Benefits worth checking

• Carer’s Allowance — for carers providing a substantial amount of care each week who meet the earnings and eligibility rules.
• Carer’s Credit — protects National Insurance contributions for carers who don’t qualify for Carer’s Allowance.
• Attendance Allowance — for the person you care for, if they’re over State Pension age and need help with personal care or supervision. It isn’t means-tested, and claiming it can unlock other help.
• Council Tax reductions — often overlooked, and sometimes available where someone in the household has a severe mental impairment.

Age Cymru and Citizens Advice both offer free benefit checks. Many families find they’ve been missing out for years.

Practical things that make a difference

• Tell your GP you’re a carer — most surgeries keep a carers register, and it can mean flexible appointments and flu vaccination eligibility.
• Make an emergency plan — write down who would step in, what the person you care for needs, and where the key information is kept, in case you’re ill or in an accident.
• Accept specific offers of help — “can you take Dad to his appointment on Thursday” gets a yes far more often than “let me know if you need anything”.
• Protect one thing that is yours — a walk, a choir, a Saturday morning. Not a luxury: the thing that keeps you recognisable to yourself.
• Talk to other carers — the relief of being with people who already understand is hard to overstate.

Where to find support locally

• Your local council’s adult social services team, for a carer’s assessment
• Carers Wales, for information, advice and an online community
• Age Cymru, for benefits advice and local services
• The Alzheimer’s Society, for carers supporting someone with dementia
• Our monthly Memory Cafés in Usk and Monmouth, which are open to anyone — and are as much for carers as for the people they care for

When it’s time to bring in some help

Respite care isn’t admitting defeat. It is what makes it possible to keep going. That might be a few hours a week so you can get to your own appointments, regular visits so you can keep working, an overnight so you can sleep properly, or a fortnight’s cover so you can actually have a holiday.

What matters is that the person you care for stays in their own home, with the same small team of Care Professionals each time, while you get a genuine break rather than a worried one.

Why families across Monmouthshire choose Home Instead

• Locally owned and led — by Karen and Laura Clatworthy.
• Rated 9.6/10 on homecare.co.uk — by clients and families.
• Top 20 in Wales — named among Wales’ highest-rated home care providers.
• City & Guilds accredited dementia training — for every Care Professional.
• Minimum one-hour visits — never rushed.
• Flexible respite — from a few hours a week to full live-in cover.

More guides from our team

• Respite Care in Monmouth, Abergavenny & Pontypool
• Paying for Home Care in Wales
• Dementia Care at Home in Monmouthshire
• Overnight Care in Monmouth, Abergavenny & Pontypool
• Memory Cafés, Seated Sports & Community Events

Talk to your local team

If you’re caring for someone in Monmouth, Abergavenny, Pontypool or anywhere across Monmouthshire and you’re running low, please get in touch. There’s no pressure and no obligation — just a conversation about what would help.

Call our friendly team today on 01873 772772 or visit our website to arrange a free, no-obligation care consultation.